I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
