you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
