What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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