I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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