after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
