What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
