I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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