You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
