C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize