i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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