I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize