Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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