hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
