I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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