My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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