I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
