you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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