she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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