I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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