Don't you send me to vm
nut hugger
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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