I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
