Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
