yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
