No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
