dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
vagina is talking i cant
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
