We're facebook friends in real life
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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