Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize