I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
