dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
