I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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