Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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