Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
