Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
