I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the day after is always just damage control
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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