so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
