Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
