did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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