She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
