it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
