i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize