blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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