Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
