I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
