I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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