He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Terrible idea I love it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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