mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Randomize
