So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
you're hired as official boob wrangler
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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