go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
