Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
oh god the rape fog is back!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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