we have officially lost it.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
