So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
