she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
