He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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