Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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