I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I fill condoms, not promises.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
