there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
