batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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