Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
