If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
