I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
