dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
