are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
