we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
