I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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