I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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