Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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