grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
