I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
