And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you mean i was at the winter classic?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
