she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize