I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
