Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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