ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
