Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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