Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
